英語(yǔ)手抄報笑話(huà)素材

　　一、我是單身漢

　　Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

　　杰克騎車(chē)摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿著(zhù)表格讓填。仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護士問(wèn). "有!"杰克想了想說(shuō)，"我是個(gè)單身漢."

　　二、死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯

　　Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.

　　妻子：你看這張報紙，據統計，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。 丈夫：那有什么?據我調查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。

　　三、位置上的冰激凌

　　"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

　　"請原諒，你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明這點(diǎn)嗎?" "能，我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."

　　四、別無(wú)選擇

　　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

　　一天，夏娃問(wèn)亞當："你當真愛(ài)我嗎?" 亞當無(wú)可奈何地回答："我還有的選擇嗎?"

　　五、沒(méi)有向我敬禮

　　A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."　　Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"　　The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(無(wú)知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”　"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

　　有個(gè)士兵沒(méi)有注意到一個(gè)年輕的陸軍中尉，沒(méi)有向他敬禮。中尉很?chē)绤柕貙δ莻�(gè)士兵說(shuō)：“你沒(méi)有向我敬禮，因此你要馬上敬100個(gè)禮。”　　這時(shí)候將軍過(guò)來(lái)了。他看到那個(gè)可憐的士兵就要開(kāi)始敬禮時(shí)，就大聲問(wèn)道：“這是怎么啦?”　　中尉解釋說(shuō)：“這個(gè)蠢貨沒(méi)有向我敬禮，我就罰他馬上向我敬一百個(gè)禮。”　　將軍笑著(zhù)說(shuō)：“完全正確。不過(guò)，老弟，別忘了他向你每敬一個(gè)禮，你都要回禮的啊!”