英語(yǔ)搞笑故事
I can't let him get away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
不能讓他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著(zhù)走，而不是橫著(zhù)走。哇!她想，這只雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。
第二天，她又發(fā)現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著(zhù)走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她問(wèn)，“我們結婚前你可是直著(zhù)走路的。”
“哦，寶貝，”他回答說(shuō)，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.
I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
有一次上帝來(lái)到我面前答應了我一個(gè)愿望。
我說(shuō)我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他說(shuō)。
然后我請讓我變聰明。他說(shuō)：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧。”
圣誕節晚宴上的`餐前禱告
Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"
有個(gè)小男孩叫Lee, 今年七歲，圣誕節晚餐開(kāi)桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著(zhù)期待的申請低頭看著(zhù)他，Lee開(kāi)始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽?zhuān)绺缃憬阏O，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然后，他開(kāi)始感謝上帝賜予他得圣誕節晚餐了。
他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，圣誕布丁和紅莓醬。然后Lee停下來(lái)了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很長(cháng)時(shí)間，然后抬起頭看著(zhù)他媽媽說(shuō)：“媽媽?zhuān)绻腋兄x上帝賜予我甘藍菜，他會(huì )知道我在撒謊嗎?”
注：國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍菜，看《絕望主婦》里面Lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍菜，請了保姆后還拿這個(gè)來(lái)做實(shí)驗，看看她們家保姆有沒(méi)有魅力讓兩個(gè)小鬼頭把甘藍菜吃下去。
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