搞笑的英文笑話(huà)

　　搞笑的英文笑話(huà)一：

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

　　和相親對象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。

　　Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.

　　他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話(huà)，這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。

　　When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

　　當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”

　　"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì )對象說(shuō)，“如果你的`祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　搞笑的英文笑話(huà)二：

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

　　弗羅里達州的迪斯尼樂(lè )園是一個(gè)迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及兩個(gè)孩子前往旅游，我們全身心地沉醉在它的各種奇觀(guān)之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我們要回家了。

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."

　　當我們驅車(chē)離開(kāi)時(shí)，兒子揮手說(shuō)："再見(jiàn)，美奇。"

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."

　　女兒揮著(zhù)手說(shuō)，"再見(jiàn)，美妮。"

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."

　　丈夫也有氣無(wú)力地揮了揮手，說(shuō)道："再見(jiàn)，美元。"

　　搞笑的英文笑話(huà)三：

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　由于我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話(huà)給維修部。電話(huà)是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　他還說(shuō)，如果讓維修部清理的話(huà)要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試著(zhù)清理。

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　當時(shí)我真的被他的話(huà)感動(dòng)了，就問(wèn)他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么?”

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　“事實(shí)上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因為如果我們讓用戶(hù)先自行修理打印機的話(huà)就能掙更多的錢(qián)。”

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