最新英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)2015
最新英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)2015一：
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛(ài)放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問(wèn)題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒(méi)聲音。事實(shí)上，我在這里已經(jīng)放了20多個(gè)屁，但是你并不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒(méi)聲音。”
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."
醫生說(shuō)：“好的'，我明白了。吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來(lái)。”
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."
一星期后老太太來(lái)了，“醫生，你到底給的我什么藥，現在我放屁還是沒(méi)聲音，但是怎么這么臭!”
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
醫生說(shuō)：“太好了!你的嗅覺(jué)正常了，現在開(kāi)始治聽(tīng)覺(jué)。”
最新英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)2015二：
A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum.They came across one individual in the grounds，with wild eyes，dishevelled hair，feverishly endeavouring to catchflies and keep them in his pocket.
一群游客被領(lǐng)著(zhù)參觀(guān)一所瘋人院。在院子里他們遇見(jiàn)一個(gè)人，他長(cháng)著(zhù)一雙瘋狂的眼睛，頭發(fā)蓬亂，正狂熱地設法逮住蒼蠅，把它們裝在他的口袋里。
His was a sad case，said the attendant.Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man.
他的病很慘，陪同人說(shuō)。在他當兵打仗的時(shí)候，他的妻子拋下他的家和另一個(gè)男人私奔了。
Terrible，said a visitor.
真可怕，一個(gè)游客說(shuō)。
Presently they came to a padded cell，in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.
不久他們來(lái)到一間安上軟墊的小屋前，聽(tīng)見(jiàn)里面傳出野獸般的怒吼。
That's the other man，said the attendant.
這就是那另一個(gè)男人，陪同人說(shuō)。
最新英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)2015三：
Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
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