精選初中英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

　　1、

　　I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.

　　"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this. "

　　我摔倒了，肘骨脫臼了。這使得我幾乎不能給我的小生意簽賬單了。我打電話(huà)給銀行解釋說(shuō)由于事故，賬單上我的簽名看起來(lái)會(huì )有些古怪，并請求他們無(wú)論如何給予承兌。

　　“好的，”電話(huà)中的女子說(shuō)，“但你必須給銀行寫(xiě)封信，告訴他們你在作此項請求。”

　　2.

　　Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."

　　因為旅行推銷(xiāo)員為了謀生需要拜訪(fǎng)盡量多的客戶(hù)，所以超速飛車(chē)趕場(chǎng)對于他們來(lái)說(shuō)也不是沒(méi)有過(guò)的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個(gè)公路巡警攔了下來(lái)。“你有沒(méi)有看過(guò)你的時(shí)速表?”那名警官責問(wèn)。當我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經(jīng)太晚了。“車(chē)開(kāi)得越來(lái)越快”，我如實(shí)地說(shuō)，“我的眼睛得一直盯著(zhù)前面，沒(méi)敢看別的”。

　　3.

　　Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of it.One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

　　我們的餐廳經(jīng)理是一位深受大家愛(ài)戴，和藹而又快樂(lè )的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高�；蛘�，我應該說(shuō)，他是有點(diǎn)矮!一天，經(jīng)理怒氣沖沖地撞門(mén)而入，高聲說(shuō)，“有人拿了我的錢(qián)包!”

　　我和其她大部女招待都沒(méi)敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話(huà)：“哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊”!

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