英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事小短文
The Right Leg
Proctor(exceedingly angry):So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair?
Sophomore(meekly):The right leg,sir.
右腿
學(xué)監(非常生氣):現在你承認這可憐的新生被扔進(jìn)這蛙池里,渾身濕透?那么你在這不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?
二年級學(xué)生(恭順地):右腿,先生。
The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
詩(shī)人的名字
我們的老師正在給我們介紹現在某些學(xué)校使用的一種新的記憶訓練系統。
“這個(gè)系統是這樣的,”她說(shuō)。“假定你要記住一個(gè)詩(shī)人的名字一一例如,要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當作博比·彭斯。“讓你的腦海里閃現出一個(gè)倫敦警察的.形象,燃燒著(zhù)的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的萬(wàn)事通說(shuō)。“但是你怎么能說(shuō)那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?”
Ashamed Soldier
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.
One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?
He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.
慚愧的士兵
彼得十八歲那年參了軍,他需要參加幾個(gè)月的學(xué)習以成為一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好,但是射擊不行。
一天他和伙伴們練習射擊,除了彼得其他人都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題。他射了九次,一次也沒(méi)有命中目標。這時(shí),教新兵射擊的教官說(shuō):彼得,你看來(lái)是沒(méi)希望了,不要連最后一發(fā)子彈都浪費掉!去那堵墻后面用它向自己打一槍吧。
彼得感到非常慚愧。他走到那堵墻后面。幾分鐘后,教官和新兵們聽(tīng)到一聲槍響。
上帝!教官叫起來(lái),難道那個(gè)笨蛋真的朝自己開(kāi)槍了?
他急忙跑到那堵墻后面,發(fā)現彼得安然無(wú)恙。對不起,長(cháng)官,他說(shuō),我還是沒(méi)有命中。
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