英語(yǔ)的幽默小笑話(huà)

　　A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"

　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

　　一群美國人乘長(cháng)途汽車(chē)在荷蘭旅游。他們在一個(gè)奶酪場(chǎng)停下來(lái)。一位年輕的導游帶他們參觀(guān)了奶酪制作的全過(guò)程，解釋說(shuō)用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對這些，她解釋說(shuō)，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問(wèn)道：“在美國你們怎樣處理老羊呢?”

　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說(shuō)：“他們讓我們乘車(chē)旅行!”

　　A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?""No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned(醉酒的) ."The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk(行李箱) and a muffled(聽(tīng)不清的) voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

　　一個(gè)家伙開(kāi)車(chē)的時(shí)候警察追了上來(lái)。這個(gè)家伙要開(kāi)窗戶(hù)問(wèn)警察：“怎么了，警官?”

　　“沒(méi)事，我觀(guān)察到了你的安全駕駛技術(shù)，很高興你獲得了價(jià)值5000美元的安全駕駛獎。祝賀你!你認為你要拿這筆錢(qián)去做什么?”

　　他想了一會(huì )說(shuō)“哦，我覺(jué)得，我應該去考駕照”。

　　坐在副駕駛位的女士說(shuō)"別在意他說(shuō)的，他喝醉了酒說(shuō)胡話(huà)呢.“

　　后面座位的家伙說(shuō)”我告訴你，偷來(lái)的車(chē)我們走不遠的。“

　　此時(shí)，行李箱出現了敲擊聲并傳出一個(gè)模糊不清的聲音：“我們穿過(guò)了邊境了嗎?”

　　The Mean Mans Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì )

　　一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門(mén)鈴。門(mén)開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門(mén)推開(kāi)。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì )空著(zhù)手來(lái)吧?”

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