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簡(jiǎn)短幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)“Can you speak English”大家快點(diǎn)來(lái)看哦。
一場(chǎng)特殊的足球比賽
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麥克上學(xué)遲到了。他對布萊克老師說(shuō)：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢(mèng)里觀(guān)看了一場(chǎng)球賽。”
“為什么它會(huì )讓你遲到呢?”老師問(wèn)道。
“因為這兩個(gè)隊都沒(méi)有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時(shí)間長(cháng)了。”麥克回答說(shuō)。
Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學(xué)�；氐郊依�，對媽媽說(shuō)：媽媽?zhuān)裉煸趯W(xué)校里我因為一件我沒(méi)有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒(méi)有做過(guò)的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說(shuō)：我的家庭作業(yè)。
Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無(wú)奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來(lái)大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開(kāi)始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴厲地說(shuō)，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉身要走，就聽(tīng)我兒子說(shuō)：“來(lái)，斯蒂文，我們來(lái)把自己弄臟吧。”
Does He Bite 它咬人嗎
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你愿意過(guò)來(lái)和他玩一會(huì )嗎?
羅恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人嗎?
里基：這正是我想要查明的。
To Buy a Video 買(mǎi)錄像機
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問(wèn)媽媽他們是否能買(mǎi)一臺錄像機。
恐怕我們還買(mǎi)不起，媽媽嘆息著(zhù)說(shuō)。
可第二天當艾莫斯回來(lái)時(shí)，他搖搖晃晃地搬著(zhù)一臺全新的錄像機。
你究竟是哪兒來(lái)的錢(qián)買(mǎi)這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘著(zhù)氣說(shuō)。
媽媽?zhuān)@簡(jiǎn)單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機給賣(mài)了!
Can you speak English
去年春節回老家時(shí)，看到一個(gè)老外在向一個(gè)農民伯伯問(wèn)路。只見(jiàn)那個(gè)老外一邊說(shuō)著(zhù)生硬的中文，一邊用手筆劃，但那個(gè)農民伯伯卻還是不明白。最后，那個(gè)農民伯伯說(shuō)了一句讓我至今難忘的話(huà)：“Can you speak English?”
how much
剛剛去營(yíng)業(yè)廳沖話(huà)費，聽(tīng)到服務(wù)小姐說(shuō)，how much?我愣了好久，沒(méi)反應過(guò)來(lái)，心想英語(yǔ)都普及到這地步了?遂回答，50。他也愣了，又重復了一次，我這才聽(tīng)明白她剛才說(shuō)的是，號碼是?
外國同事
我們外國同事突然問(wèn)我：你們中國人最?lèi)?ài)用的外語(yǔ)口頭禪是不是“what‘s up‘?感覺(jué)你們見(jiàn)面時(shí)常說(shuō)“what‘s up‘，有時(shí)候自己對著(zhù)電腦都會(huì )自言自語(yǔ)說(shuō)，是受美國文化影響么?我想了半天是不是有這么回事，然后突然恍然大悟，對她說(shuō)：我操!
香蕉用英語(yǔ)怎么說(shuō)?
“閨女，香蕉用英語(yǔ)怎么說(shuō)?”“banana!”“蘋(píng)果呢?”“iPhone!”“那大蘋(píng)果呢?”“iPad!”
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