好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)集錦

　　笑話(huà)大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂(lè )性。其趣味有高下之分。小編你挑選了好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)集錦，希望你會(huì )喜歡，一起來(lái)歡樂(lè )笑笑啊!

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇一：I didn't know that I was so far

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells andbullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, “ where are you going?”

　　“I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir,” the soldier answered.

　　“Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily. “I'm your commanding officer.”

　　The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, “My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!”

　　我想不到已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠

　　第一次世界大戰期間，一場(chǎng)大戰役正在進(jìn)行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過(guò)了一個(gè)小時(shí)后，一個(gè)士兵認定戰斗對他來(lái)說(shuō)變得太危險了，所以他離開(kāi)前線(xiàn)開(kāi)始逃離戰場(chǎng)。步行了一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)軍官向他走過(guò)來(lái)。那軍官叫住他說(shuō)：“你要到哪兒去?”

　　“長(cháng)官，我正盡可能遠地躲開(kāi)我們身后正在進(jìn)行的.戰役，”士兵回答說(shuō)。

　　“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”軍官生氣地對他說(shuō)：“我是你的指揮官。”

　　那士兵聽(tīng)到此話(huà)感到非常驚訝，說(shuō)：“天哪，我想不到我已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠了!”

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇二：Why Is He Howling

　　Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.

　　Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

　　他為什么喊

　　牙醫：請你不要再喊了!我還沒(méi)碰你的'牙呢。

　　病人：我知道，可是你正踩著(zhù)我的腳呀!

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇三：紳士

　　A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，悶死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

　　解決問(wèn)題的好辦法 一位紳士正靜靜地坐在頭等包廂里，有兩位女士走了進(jìn)來(lái)。其中一位見(jiàn)窗戶(hù)開(kāi)著(zhù)，就在落坐之前把窗戶(hù)“把窗戶(hù)打開(kāi)，”第二位女士說(shuō)道，“如果沒(méi)有新鮮空氣，我會(huì )被憋死的`。” “不能打開(kāi)，”第一位說(shuō)道，“如果它開(kāi)著(zhù)，我會(huì )被凍死的。” 一場(chǎng)爭吵開(kāi)始，沒(méi)完沒(méi)了，直到那位紳士開(kāi)口： “我們先讓窗戶(hù)關(guān)著(zhù)，直到把這位女士憋死，然后再打開(kāi)窗戶(hù)，直到把這位女士?jì)鏊�。那以后，這兒就可以恢復平靜了。”

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇四：Doctor and Patient 醫生和病人

　　Doctor: How many ears and eyes does a cat have?

　　Patient: Two of each.

　　Doctor: And how many legs does it have?

　　Patient: Say, Doctor, haven't you ever seen a cat?

　　醫生：一只貓有幾個(gè)耳朵和眼睛?

　　病人：都是兩個(gè)。

　　醫生：那么它有幾條腿呢?

　　病人：我說(shuō)，醫生，難道你從來(lái)沒(méi)有見(jiàn)過(guò)貓嗎?

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