有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)大全
你知道學(xué)些笑話(huà)的好處么?當第一次見(jiàn)面的時(shí)候，總是有不知道該說(shuō)什么的尷尬，這時(shí)候你就需要一些笑話(huà)，來(lái)緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)大全，希望能對你有所幫助哈!
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)一：
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn't know what costume she'd be wearing, she thought she'd have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't around.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe who had just arrived.
She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and they did it all! Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said "Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "You know, I didn't dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I'll tell you...from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"
妻子睡了一小會(huì )兒后覺(jué)得自己好多了。而時(shí)間尚早，她也換了裝去到舞會(huì )。她想到自己的丈夫并不知道自己換了什么裝扮，于是打算偷偷觀(guān)察一下丈夫在自己不在身邊時(shí)的表現。
到了舞會(huì )，妻子看到丈夫在舞池中和不同的姑娘熱舞。她跟著(zhù)也加入其中，她的丈夫也和她跳起舞來(lái)。跟著(zhù)他們離開(kāi)舞池，再跟著(zhù)%*#@!#%￥(少兒不宜，省略數百字)，而在期間，他們兩人都沒(méi)有摘下面具。
之后妻子就先回家了。她坐下來(lái)讀書(shū)、有點(diǎn)幸災樂(lè )禍地等丈夫回來(lái)，看他要如何解釋。
跟著(zhù)她的丈夫也回來(lái)了。她問(wèn)：“今晚過(guò)的怎么樣啊?”
丈夫答道：“啊~ 還是老一套，你知道的，你不在我怎么會(huì )開(kāi)心呢?”
妻子又問(wèn)：“你是不是跳了很多舞啊?”
他答：“我一支曲子都沒(méi)跳，我到了那兒就遇到彼得、布朗和其他幾個(gè)兄弟，接著(zhù)我們就去休息室打撲克打了一晚上。不過(guò)我聽(tīng)說(shuō)……借走我面具和服裝的那個(gè)家伙今天晚上倒玩得挺開(kāi)心的!”
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)二：兩個(gè)士兵
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
兩個(gè)士兵
軍營(yíng)里有二名士兵，一個(gè)叫喬治，一個(gè)叫比爾。喬治問(wèn)：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。
喬治又說(shuō)：“我還沒(méi)有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的.筆給了他。喬治開(kāi)始寫(xiě)信。寫(xiě)完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問(wèn)：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。
這時(shí)比爾站起來(lái)，向門(mén)口走去。喬治問(wèn)：“你要出去嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“是的。”隨即打開(kāi)了門(mén)。
喬治說(shuō)：“請幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。
“你還要什么?”比爾問(wèn)。
喬治看著(zhù)信封說(shuō)：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)三：為什么鼻青臉腫Black eyes
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)四：How did you start the flood? 你是怎么引起洪水的?
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
醫生在里維埃拉度假時(shí)遇到他的一位律師朋友，醫生問(wèn)他怎么會(huì )到這里來(lái)。
The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?"
律師回答：“我到這里是因為我的房子被火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”
"That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
“真巧，”醫生說(shuō)，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了我所有的損失。”
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
律師看起來(lái)有些困惑，他問(wèn)“哎呀!你是怎么引起洪水的?”
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