經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)

　　經(jīng)常講一些笑話(huà)，不僅能給自己到來(lái)快樂(lè )，還能感染他人，這里小編收集整理了經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)，一起來(lái)看看吧!

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)一：Hogarth

　　The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.

　　What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of thecelebrated passage.

　　That's it, replied Hogarth.

　　But, where are the Israelites?

　　They are all gone over.

　　Where are the Egyptians?

　　They're all drowned.

　　霍迦斯

　　一天，有人請這位偉大的畫(huà)家畫(huà)一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫(huà)剛開(kāi)始不久，酬金就出現了問(wèn)題�；舻纤拱l(fā)現，完成這幅畫(huà)后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢(qián)。當作品完成之后，那位主顧被請來(lái)看畫(huà)。其實(shí)，這幅畫(huà)不過(guò)是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。

　　這是什么?那位買(mǎi)主喊了起來(lái)。我要的是紅海，是那次著(zhù)名的航海。

　　這就是，霍迦斯回答說(shuō)。

　　可是以色列人在哪兒?

　　他們都已經(jīng)渡過(guò)去了。

　　埃及人在哪兒?

　　他們全都淹死了。

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)二：For the Dog

　　The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

　　"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

　　"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

　　喂狗

　　一家人在飯館里吃過(guò)晚飯，父親把服務(wù)生叫了過(guò)來(lái)。

　　‘先生，什么事?“服務(wù)生問(wèn)。 ’

　　我兒子的盤(pán)子里剩下許多肉，“父親說(shuō)，

　　‘能給我們一個(gè)袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。’

　　‘啊呀，爸爸!’兒子激動(dòng)地叫喊著(zhù)。‘咱家養狗了嗎? ’

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)三：Gone Shopping

　　購物

　　Our supermarket had a sald on boneless chicken breasts,and a woman I know ontended tostock up .

　　我們的超級市，場(chǎng)在廉價(jià)拍賣(mài)無(wú)骨雞胸，我認識的某位女士打算去多買(mǎi)一些。

　　At the store,However,she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portopnsof the poultry,

　　然而，到了這家肉店的時(shí)候她感到很失望，因為只找到一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)事先就包裝好的雞肉，

　　so she complained to the butcher.

　　所以她就向這位肉店老板抱怨。

　　"don't worry,lady," he said.

　　他說(shuō)：“小姐，別擔心，

　　"I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

　　我會(huì )替你多包幾盤(pán)，在你買(mǎi)完?yáng)|西的'時(shí)候把它們準備好。”

　　Several aisles later ,my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over th public-address system:

　　逛完幾個(gè)走道之后，我的朋友聽(tīng)到肉店老板的聲音透過(guò)公共廣播系統隆隆地說(shuō)

　　"Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?"

　　“那位想要大胸部的小姐請到本店后方來(lái)見(jiàn)我好嗎?”

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)冷笑話(huà)四：Good Sight

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　良好的視力

　　律師：你說(shuō)你離事故現場(chǎng)約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西?

　　證人：這么說(shuō)吧，早上起床后我看見(jiàn)太陽(yáng)，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬(wàn)英里遠。

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