笑話(huà)大全爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are wepoisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I'vejust bitten my tongue! "
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問(wèn)它的母親。
“是的,親愛(ài)的,”她回答說(shuō),“你問(wèn)這個(gè)干什么?”
“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hourand I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared thegate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing onthe smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her closeto my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gainingher composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautifulwomen failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車(chē)。接近門(mén)口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過(guò)來(lái),沒(méi)想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來(lái)。她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說(shuō)道:“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
Q: Which is thestrongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. Itcarries its house on its back.
因為snail(蝸牛)的后背上總是背著(zhù)一所房子,所以說(shuō)蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說(shuō)呢?
Q: What do peopledo in a clock factory?
A: They make facesall day.
一看到make faces這個(gè)短語(yǔ),你可千萬(wàn)別以為是在鐘表廠(chǎng)工作的`人整天都做鬼臉呀!因為除了這個(gè)意思以外,它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。
Q: How do you stopa sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎樣才能不讓夢(mèng)游者(sleepwalker)夢(mèng)游(walk inhis sleep)呢?最簡(jiǎn)單的方法就是不讓他睡覺(jué)。雖然這不是治療方法,但如果讓夢(mèng)游者醒著(zhù)呢,他的確就不會(huì )去夢(mèng)游了。
They are directly from America
Not long after anold Chinese woman came back toChinafrom her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank todeposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerkchecked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old ladyout of patience.
At last she couldnot hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They arereal US dollars. They are directly fromAmerica."
它們是從美國直接帶來(lái)的
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來(lái)不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺,銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō):“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來(lái)的。”
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