精選英文小段子「推薦」
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A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對話(huà).他問(wèn):"主啊, 一百萬(wàn)美元對你意味著(zhù)多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問(wèn):"那一百萬(wàn)年呢?"上帝說(shuō):"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過(guò)一秒鐘."
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Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個(gè)好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護士過(guò)來(lái)對第一個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說(shuō):"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的`經(jīng)理."過(guò)了一會(huì )兒,護士過(guò)來(lái)對第二個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護士跑來(lái)對第三個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開(kāi)心地說(shuō):"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問(wèn)他有什么不對勁,他回答道:"什么不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一個(gè)比一個(gè)效率高.
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Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人還有布什總統走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈.他們擦了擦燈出現了一個(gè)精靈.精靈說(shuō):"我要滿(mǎn)足你們每人一個(gè)愿望總共三個(gè)."加拿大人說(shuō):"我是個(gè)父親我兒子將成為農夫,因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠肥沃."精靈說(shuō)了咒語(yǔ)愿望實(shí)現了.拉登看了很驚奇,他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗.精靈又說(shuō)了咒語(yǔ)愿望又實(shí)現了.布什總統問(wèn):"精靈請告訴我關(guān)于這座墻的事情."精靈回答:"墻厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何東西出不來(lái)外面的任何東西進(jìn)不去."布什總統說(shuō):"哇!那是座大橋耶...注滿(mǎn)水!!!"
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My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一顆子彈
2. to point at: 對...瞄準
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allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
兩個(gè)獵人進(jìn)森林里打獵，其中一個(gè)獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一個(gè)獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話(huà)。接線(xiàn)員沉著(zhù)地說(shuō)：“第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經(jīng)死亡。”于是，接線(xiàn)員在電話(huà)里聽(tīng)到一聲槍響，然后聽(tīng)到那獵人接著(zhù)問(wèn)：“第二步怎辦?”
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fool_fox
標題：I'm the boss
內容：The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:員工會(huì )議
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Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒館, 客棧
martini 馬提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看過(guò)v.偷看
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