英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幽默段子

　　笑一笑，十年少，多笑笑有利于自己的身心健康，今天我們就一起來(lái)看看英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幽默段子吧!

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幽默段子(一)

　　A Duel

　　Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

　　It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

　　"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

　　"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

　　決斗

　　小彼得從操場(chǎng)回到家時(shí)，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。

　　顯然他剛與人惡斗了一番，而且打輸了。父親問(wèn)兒子發(fā)生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說(shuō)，我向拉里挑起決斗，而且我讓他挑選武器。”

　　“嗯，”父親說(shuō)，“這看上去很公平!”

　　“我知道，但我沒(méi)想到他選擇了他姐姐!”

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幽默段子(二)

　　The Tiger is Coming!

　　When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on.

　　The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

　　老虎來(lái)了

　　兩個(gè)男人正在穿過(guò)叢林，突然，一只老虎出現在遠處，向他們沖來(lái)。當中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋，開(kāi)始穿上。

　　另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著(zhù)他說(shuō)，“你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過(guò)老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過(guò)它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幽默段子(三)

　　Friend for Dinner

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　I know all that.

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　請朋友吃飯

　　“親愛(ài)的，”丈夫對妻子說(shuō)：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”

　　“什么?你瘋了嗎?我們的`房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒(méi)有買(mǎi)過(guò)東西回來(lái)了，所有的碗碟都是臟的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”

　　“這些我全都知道。”

　　“那你為什么還要邀請朋友回來(lái)吃晚飯?”

　　“因為那個(gè)可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”

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