精品英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)6則
我要做的一切就是付錢(qián)!All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My
wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,
and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your
position?"
"I’m the people. All I do is pay."
布朗先生告訴同事說(shuō)：“我的家簡(jiǎn)直就象一個(gè)國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長(cháng)。我岳母是作戰部長(cháng)，我女兒是外交秘書(shū)。”
“聽(tīng)上去挺有意思的，”他的'同事說(shuō)，“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢(qián)。”
喂狗 For the Dog
The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"
"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"
一家人在飯館里吃過(guò)晚飯，父親把服務(wù)生叫了過(guò)來(lái)。
”先生，什么事?“服務(wù)生問(wèn)。
”我兒子的盤(pán)子里剩下許多肉，“父親說(shuō)，”能給我們一個(gè)袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“
”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動(dòng)地叫喊著(zhù)。”咱家養狗了嗎?“
腦移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."
一個(gè)外科醫生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。
“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問(wèn)。
醫生說(shuō)：“不是好一些，只是沒(méi)有用過(guò)。”
不是我的錯
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的錯
媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。
女兒：媽?zhuān)抑皇俏罩?zhù)貓尾巴，它自己在拽。
父親在哪?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會(huì )兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”
兩塊蛋糕
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
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