搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)

　　搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)小故事來(lái)襲，大家快來(lái)看看!

　　英語(yǔ)幽默Another 40 Years to live

　　A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

　　一名中年婦女心臟病突發(fā)被送到了醫院， 在手術(shù)臺上，瀕臨死亡之際，她看到了上帝， 于是，她問(wèn)上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。 上帝回答說(shuō)，“還沒(méi)有，你還能活43年，2個(gè)月零8天。” 身體快要康復的時(shí)候，這名女士想到自己還要活那么多年，得好好對待自己，于是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后還做了一個(gè)腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美體手術(shù)。 她甚至還請人到醫院里面幫她頭發(fā)給染了。 做完最后一個(gè)手術(shù)，這位女士出院了， 但就在過(guò)馬路的時(shí)候，她被一輛風(fēng)馳電摯趕回醫院的救護車(chē)給撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的'面前，她大惑不解地問(wèn)上帝，“我記得你說(shuō)我還能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那個(gè)時(shí)候我沒(méi)認出你來(lái)”。

　　I Cant Let Him Get Away

　　A male crab(螃蟹) met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　不能讓他跑了

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著(zhù)走，而不是橫著(zhù)走。哇!她想，這只雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。

　　第二天，她又發(fā)現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著(zhù)走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她問(wèn)，“我們結婚前你可是直著(zhù)走路的。”

　　“哦，寶貝，”他回答說(shuō)，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

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