笑破肚子的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)
導語(yǔ);YJBYS小編為大家整理了笑破肚子的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà),希望大家能展顏一笑,更多內容盡在應屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)笑話(huà)欄目。
1 a lie
Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"
Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."
Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."
Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"
媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;你要哪一只香蕉，維克多?”
維克多：“我要那只最大的。”
媽媽?zhuān)?ldquo;維克多，你應該懂禮貌，要那只小的。”
維克多：“媽媽?zhuān)y道懂禮貌就必須說(shuō)謊嗎?”
2 Who Is the Laziest 誰(shuí)最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過(guò)，現在我想問(wèn)你個(gè)問(wèn)題。你們班上誰(shuí)最懶?
湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫(xiě)字時(shí)，誰(shuí)在課堂上坐著(zhù)，只是看人家做功課?
湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
But the teacher cried 可是老師哭了
3 Two Birds 兩只鳥(niǎo)
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說(shuō)說(shuō)看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
4 Three Turtles 三只烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門(mén)口，就下起雨來(lái)。于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“回家去取傘吧。”
最小的`烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說(shuō)。
兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門(mén)外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
5 Who is Stupid 誰(shuí)愚蠢
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一個(gè)老師在對學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰(shuí)認為自己蠢就站起來(lái)?”她一開(kāi)始就說(shuō)。
小約翰尼站了起來(lái)。
“你認為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼?”老師問(wèn)。
“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著(zhù)。”
6 Lost Purse 丟失的錢(qián)包
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
一個(gè)女人丟了手提包，有一個(gè)誠實(shí)的小孩撿到后交還給了她。她看了看錢(qián)包，說(shuō)：“嗯，這么有趣，我丟的時(shí)候里面是一張20美元，現在成了20張一美元。”
“沒(méi)錯，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我撿到錢(qián)包時(shí)，那位夫人沒(méi)有零錢(qián)獎賞給我。”
7 I know who god is 我知道上帝是誰(shuí)了
A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?
The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.
The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?
The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.
The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and
straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?
兒子：媽媽?zhuān)系凼前兹诉�是黑人?
媽媽?zhuān)簩氊�，上帝是白人也是黑�?
兒子：那上帝是男人還是女人?
媽媽?zhuān)簩氊�，上帝是男人也是女�?
兒子：哦。我知道了，上帝是邁克爾•杰克遜!
8 His Fault 他的錯
Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.
Mother: How did he do it?
Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.
比利：媽媽?zhuān)ū却驂牧舜安ＡА?/p>
媽媽?zhuān)核趺创虻?
比利：我向他扔石頭，他躲開(kāi)了。
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