好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事集錦

　　笑一笑，十年少，小編為大家整理了好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事集錦,希望大家能展顏一笑,記得每天都要開(kāi)心一刻哦!嘻嘻!

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事【1】

　　Photo of my wife 我老婆的照片

　　A businessman enters a tavern(酒館，客棧), sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender(酒保) to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peekingat a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

　　一個(gè)生意人走進(jìn)一家酒館，在吧臺坐下，點(diǎn)了一杯加冰的雙料馬提尼。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿(mǎn)上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿(mǎn)上。這時(shí)酒館的`服務(wù)生說(shuō)話(huà)了，“呃，老兄，我整個(gè)晚上給你倒馬提尼都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點(diǎn)下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開(kāi)始變得好看起來(lái)，那就說(shuō)明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事【2】

　　Are you a normal person?

　　During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion(標準) that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon(茶匙), a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup." "Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　參觀(guān)一所精神病院的'時(shí)候一個(gè)參觀(guān)者問(wèn)院長(cháng)，“你們是用什么標準來(lái)決定一個(gè)人是否應該被關(guān)進(jìn)精神病院呢?” “呃… …”院長(cháng)說(shuō)，“是這樣，我們先給一個(gè)浴缸放滿(mǎn)水，然后我們給病人一個(gè)調茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。” “噢，我明白了”， 參觀(guān)者說(shuō)。“一個(gè)正常人會(huì )選擇水桶， 因為水桶比茶匙，茶杯的體積大。” “錯了”，院長(cháng)回答“正常人會(huì )把浴缸塞子拔掉”。

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事【3】

　　顆番茄

　　Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato walked fast. The second one asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly,said: "We are not tomatoes? We can talk?"

　　兩顆番茄去逛街，第一顆番茄突然走得很快，第二顆番茄就問(wèn)：“我們要去哪里?” 第一顆番茄沒(méi)有回答，第二顆番茄又問(wèn)了一次。 第一顆番茄還沒(méi)回答，所以第二顆番茄又問(wèn)了一次。 第一顆番茄終于慢慢轉頭說(shuō)：“我們不是番茄嗎?我們會(huì )說(shuō)話(huà)嗎?”

　　好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事【4】

　　Endearing terms

　　Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

　　伯尼應邀來(lái)到他的朋友莫里斯家吃晚餐。在朋友家，伯尼發(fā)現，不管問(wèn)他老婆什么問(wèn)題，莫里斯總要在每句話(huà)的前面加上一些親密的稱(chēng)呼，象蜜糖，我的愛(ài)人，親愛(ài)的，甜心等等。伯尼對莫里斯說(shuō)，“你們夫妻倆真夠親密的`，結婚這么多年了，你還叫她叫得那么親密。”莫里斯低下頭，小聲地對伯尼說(shuō)，“老實(shí)跟你說(shuō)吧，三年前我忘記老婆的真名是什么了。”

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