幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯
總是有些時(shí)候莫名其妙的不開(kāi)心，心情不佳的時(shí)候就會(huì )辦什么都不在狀態(tài)，你會(huì )這樣么?這里小編收集整理了幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯，讓你的心情速速好起來(lái)。
幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯篇一：開(kāi)業(yè)大吉
A new business was opening ... and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers forthe occasion.
新公司開(kāi)業(yè)了，開(kāi)業(yè)典禮上，經(jīng)理的一個(gè)朋友送他一個(gè)花籃。
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."
經(jīng)理高聲朗讀著(zhù)花籃上的賀卡：“安息吧。”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
經(jīng)理生氣極了，打電話(huà)找來(lái)賣(mài)花的人要質(zhì)問(wèn)他是怎么回事。
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this:somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ..
花店老板來(lái)了，看到這個(gè)明顯的`錯誤和經(jīng)理氣急敗壞的樣子，他說(shuō)：“我真得很抱歉。但是與其這么生氣，你倒不如這樣想：有另外一個(gè)地方，今天要舉辦一個(gè)葬禮，他們將會(huì )收到一個(gè)花籃，
'Congratulations on your new location!'"
留言條上寫(xiě)著(zhù)‘恭喜你有了新的歸屬!’”
幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯篇二：墓地驚魂
One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcutthrough the cemetery.
一個(gè)漆黑的夜晚，兩個(gè)小伙子參加完聚會(huì )，決定抄近路穿過(guò)一片墳地走回家。
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.There was this terrifying noise, "TAP-TAP-TAP" coming from the shadows.
走到墳地的中間，從陰暗處傳出來(lái)恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”聲音，嚇得他們再也走不動(dòng)了。
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.
渾身顫抖著(zhù)，他們發(fā)現有個(gè)老人正拿著(zhù)榔頭和鑿子鑿一塊墓碑。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath.
“噢，主啊，”其中一個(gè)屏住呼吸說(shuō)，
"You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?"
“你嚇死我們了，我們還以為你是鬼了。這么晚了你在這干什么呢?”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
“這些傻瓜!”老人抱怨說(shuō)，“他們拼錯了我的名字!”
幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯篇三：你納稅了嗎?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一個(gè)神色緊張的納稅人正悶悶不樂(lè )地和前來(lái)查帳的國稅局的稅務(wù)審計員交談。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
審計員一度大聲地說(shuō)，“Carelton先生，我們認為能在美國生活和工作是莫大的榮幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作為一個(gè)美國公民，您也有納稅的義務(wù)。我們希望您能無(wú)比樂(lè )意地帶著(zhù)微笑來(lái)納稅。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“謝天謝地”，Carelton先生咧著(zhù)嘴大笑地回答，“我還以為你們是要我帶著(zhù)錢(qián)來(lái)交稅呢!”
幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全帶翻譯篇四：誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺(jué)，妻子告訴我說(shuō)我沒(méi)有關(guān)儲藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶(hù)看見(jiàn)那還亮著(zhù)。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.
我也透過(guò)窗戶(hù)朝那邊看，發(fā)現有幾個(gè)人正在偷東西。我趕忙報警，但是警察局說(shuō)現在沒(méi)有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過(guò)來(lái)。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."
我說(shuō)沒(méi)問(wèn)題，然后掛了電話(huà)，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過(guò)去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過(guò)電話(huà)來(lái)，我告訴你說(shuō)有人正在我家的儲藏室偷東西。但是現在沒(méi)事了，因為我剛剛開(kāi)槍把他們都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
隨后，五分鐘之內有六輛警車(chē)來(lái)到了我家，警報也響了。當然，他們當場(chǎng)抓住了竊賊。有個(gè)警察對我說(shuō)：“我記得你說(shuō)你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說(shuō)現在誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空。”
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