簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選
有笑話(huà)，大家一起笑，這就是分享快樂(lè )，也許，快樂(lè )就是這么簡(jiǎn)単。下面小編為你帶來(lái)簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選，希望你會(huì )喜歡。
簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選一：拿破侖病了
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
杰克到一所大學(xué)去學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結束時(shí)，歷史課教授沒(méi)讓他及格，校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見(jiàn)教授，強烈要求讓杰克繼續來(lái)年的學(xué)業(yè)。“他是個(gè)好孩子，”杰克的父親說(shuō)，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會(huì )有很大進(jìn)步，學(xué)期結束時(shí)，他一定會(huì )考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個(gè)月我問(wèn)他拿破侖什么時(shí)候死的，他都不知道。”“先生，請再給他一次機會(huì )吧。”杰克的父親說(shuō)，“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒(méi)有訂報紙，我們家的`人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”
簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選二：A Short Holiday(短期假日)
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices ."
" This sounds like a good idea." he thought, " I' 11 spend a month at Willow Farm. I'll enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They'll make a change from sitting by the seaside.
Four days later he returned home.
"What' s wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. " Didn't you enjoy country life ?"
"Country life was fine," Alan said." But there was another problem.
"Oh, what?"
Well, the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast lamb for dinner.
“Fresh meat is the best."I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner. "
"Lucky you!"
"You don't understand," Alan said." On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner."
" A different roast every day." Jack exclaimed.
"Let me finish," Alan said." On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn't dare stay for dinner!"
短期假日
亞倫在一個(gè)城市的公司工作。他十分努力地工作，期望著(zhù)休假。
以前休假，他經(jīng)常去海邊。但有一年，他看到報紙上有一則廣告：“領(lǐng)略鄉村生活。在唯利屋農場(chǎng)度假數周，可享受：美味佳肴、新鮮空氣、騎馬、散步、垂釣。價(jià)格合理。”
“這到是個(gè)好主意，”他想，“我要在唯利屋過(guò)上一個(gè)月，去享受騎馬的樂(lè )趣，還要去散步、釣魚(yú)。這肯定與坐在海邊不同。”
四天后，他回來(lái)了。
“唯利屋發(fā)生什么事了?”他的朋友問(wèn)他，“你不喜歡那里的鄉村生活嗎?”
“鄉村生活是很好，”亞倫說(shuō)，“但是有一個(gè)問(wèn)題。”
“什么?”
“第一天，一只羊死了。我們的飯是烤羊肉。”
“新鮮肉最好。”
“我知道，但是第二天，一只牛死了。于是我們吃的是烤牛肉。”
“你真是幸運。”
“你不知道，”亞倫說(shuō)，“第三天，一頭豬死了。我們就吃烤豬肉。”
“每天吃不同的燒烤。”
“讓我說(shuō)完，”亞倫說(shuō)，“第四天，農場(chǎng)主死了。我不敢呆在那里吃飯了。”
簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選三：Taken for Granted 理所當然
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error -- the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."
某學(xué)校發(fā)給學(xué)生的健康調查表里有個(gè)錯別字——把“性別”的“性”字寫(xiě)成了“襪”字。一位母親在為她的兒子填寫(xiě)表格時(shí)，在“襪別”的那欄填上了：“棕色為主。”
簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選四：a King from a Knave
George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.
喬治三世問(wèn)一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克，會(huì )不會(huì )玩紙牌。陛下，圖克回答說(shuō)：在玩紙牌方面，我只不過(guò)是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國王和無(wú)賴(lài)。
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