讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)
笑話(huà)是一個(gè)漢語(yǔ)詞匯，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人發(fā)笑的話(huà)或事情。以下是小編精心整理的讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)，歡迎大家借鑒與參考，希望對大家有所幫助。
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)1
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生嗎?”老板問(wèn)他的一個(gè)員工。 “我相信，先生”。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 “哦，那還好”。老板接著(zhù)說(shuō)。 “你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后，她老人家到這兒看你來(lái)了�！�
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)2
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "Ive got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Im going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and Ill cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "Ill sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didnt you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Aint nobody under there now!"
杰瑞去看精神病醫生�！搬t生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì )治好你�！薄百M用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元�！薄拔視�(huì )認真考慮的�！苯苋鸫鸬�。六個(gè)月后醫生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫生問(wèn)�！耙淮我话賶K錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了�！薄罢娴�?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉�，F在那沒(méi)人了!”
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)3
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印機部做技術(shù)支持工作已經(jīng)有一個(gè)月了，有一天我接到一位客戶(hù)的電話(huà)，她的問(wèn)題我沒(méi)辦法解決。她的問(wèn)題是：打印機不能打出來(lái)黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺(jué)得很納悶，因為三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶(hù)更換墨盒、刪了驅動(dòng)程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒(méi)有效果。我咨詢(xún)同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過(guò)兩個(gè)多小時(shí)的交涉，我打算讓客戶(hù)把打印機寄給我們，這時(shí)候她平靜地說(shuō)了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試�！�
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)4
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打開(kāi)冰箱門(mén)，發(fā)現一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問(wèn)它：“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isnt it?"
兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士確認道：“沒(méi)錯�！�
"Well," the rabbit said,"Im westing."
兔子說(shuō)：“那就對了，我就是要往西邊去�！�
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)5
"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
“你根本無(wú)法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對他的朋友訴苦說(shuō)，“她問(wèn)我一個(gè)問(wèn)題，然后自己回答了，過(guò)后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的�！�
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)6
Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的.兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?
牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)7
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
當一群婦女上車(chē)之后，車(chē)上的座位全都被占滿(mǎn)了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著(zhù)了，他擔心這個(gè)人會(huì )坐過(guò)站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說(shuō)：“先生，醒醒!”
“我沒(méi)有睡著(zhù)�！蹦莻�(gè)男人回答。
“沒(méi)睡著(zhù)?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車(chē)上有女士站在我身邊而已�！�
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)8
"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy!"
"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.
"I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."
"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"
"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"
“拉里，你過(guò)來(lái)!”媽媽放下電話(huà)后生氣地說(shuō)，“我剛才接到哈里森夫人地電話(huà)，她告訴我你在昨晚的學(xué)校舞會(huì )上對多麗絲行為不好，你可恥，粗魯!”
“媽媽?zhuān)覍λ芎�，真�?”小伙子不服氣地說(shuō)�！爱斘液退钑r(shí)我還說(shuō)了一句恭維她的話(huà)�！�
“你真的這么做的嗎?”媽媽嚴厲地問(wèn)�！澳愕脑�(huà)是怎么說(shuō)的?”
“我說(shuō)，啊呀，多麗絲，你比我跳過(guò)舞的`任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)9
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, Ive made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, Im going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, Im glad’!
一個(gè)主日學(xué)校的老師正在對學(xué)生講使別人高興的重要性�，F在，孩子們，她說(shuō)：你們當中有誰(shuí)讓別人高興過(guò)?我，老師，一個(gè)小男孩說(shuō)：昨天我就使別人高興過(guò)。做得好，是誰(shuí)呢?我奶奶。好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個(gè)小時(shí)。然后我跟她說(shuō)：‘奶奶，我要回家了�！f(shuō)：‘啊，我很高興!’
讓人捧腹大笑的英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)10
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
tudent: Big hands.
老師：如果我左手上有7個(gè)桔子，右手上有8個(gè)桔子。那么我有什么?
學(xué)生：大手。
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